A closer look inside Jenny's head
So I thought about writing the team a nice email, then I thought about writing a letter...a letter would have been so much nicer (like special and "unique") and I love making people feel special and unique!
Then i started thinking about if I should send you all the same letter or a tailored one to each one of you (THAT WAS THE IDEA I LIKED THE MOST ACTUALLY)
BUUUTT... it would've taken me the year to finish all these letters and you guys would've only gotten them by burning man 2016 - (WHICH WOULD'VE been EVEN NICER AND SPECIAL AND IDEAL - but you all know how ANXIOUS I am, I'd be afraid to die and not ever say what I am about to say (by the way I once saw at one of the art installations at burning man: "there is no greater agony then bearing an untold story inside you") - or something like that.
Anyways, as I was saying... after a lot of thinking, and brainstorming for days with Jenny, we decided to blog. I didn't really like the idea very much, but she thinks its just easier and kind of cool, which can also end up being special and unique, right? Anyway... she is the head of the team so I am just following instructions really.
If you could follow me (and jenny the head) up until here - WELL DONE MY FRIEND!! hahahahahaha don't loose focus, I promise will be worth it. Anyway, what was I saying again? Right....
Last year a met these amazing human beings that found me out of fucking nowhere, like a tiny piece of moop in the middle of deep playa! (not my moop, probably Jenny's)
I thought I had a pretty great life, but really I did not know what "a great life" meant yet - I legit never felt like writing. ahahhahahaa like never felt like writing about anything or to anyone, I actually always hated to write (or read). But you know what they say - "you just have to find something you are passionate about to start writing (or to enjoy writing)". Well... I guess I found it (for now)!
Anyway....as I was saying, what I am trying to say is: I never thought about writing UNTIL....
I met you guys, then burning man round 1 happened (then A BUNCH of shit happened), then burning man round 2 happened, then suddenly I felt like writing - also because I think I talk a lot already, and this way you guys don't have to listen if you don't want to, also because this is cheaper then therapy! (this is when you can stop reading and its totally FINE) lol
Wait, what was I saying again?! Right...
Anyway (long story short) what I am trying to say is that I am so grateful to have met you all, I've experience the craziest shits of my life with you guys, its like I lived 25 years in 2 years, you get what I am saying? hahahaha
Thank you for being exactly who you are!!!
Casey - the greatest father, the greatest leader, the biggest heart a human can ever have! I haven't met anyone who embraces the paper of father of the family better then you!! In all ways, others may not like it, but you are the one who keeps this family together (at the end of the day you are the party planner too... how can we not attend summer camp, house boating, volley gala and etc, ahaahaha). Buddy I had to start with you because if it wasn't for you this story would've never happen (or this post, Jenny likes to call it post).
Jenny B - (jenny the head is jealous now lol) Jenny b you are one of those I like to scream even when you are not around, even when I know you are not around, but makes me feel like you are around and therefore it makes me feel good!! JENNY B - have you ever hurt a bee? there are many things I love about you JENNY B, (that you are a crazy anxie like me, that u rather die burned down then from fomo at home... and the list goes on, but the reason I LOVE you the most is because NOT even ONCE you didn't wake up when I woke you up (for Robot Heart or Trinity Bellwoods park you were always there for me, or for the sunrise? or for both of us!) lol
HAAAIIILLLSSS- you are also one of those I like to scream even when you are not around, not just because I think its sexy to scream HAAAAIILLSS but also because I feel like if you are around - I am taken care of - like a older sister or something, like you ACTUALLY care about how I am doing, not that the others don't but I think you are the one who maybe asks me the most and I must say: I love it, and even if I am not well, I will be better just because you care to know how I am. makes sense? You know I truly care for you as well, its written in the starts scorpio and pisces are BEST MATCH ;)
SUUUUUUUSSSSS - actually I realize I like to scream your name a lot too, ACTUALLY - sorry CASEY HOWELL i do love to scream your name so don't be jealous lol
WAIT - ok so I just picture my self also screaming for SCOOCOOOO, JIMMYYYY, STOKIIIEEE, MAAAYLOOWW, ROBBIEEE, JUSTIIINN AND DAVEY - OK, CONCLUSION I JUST like to scream all of YOUR NAMES, fine! Anyway...back to SUUUUUUSSSS
SUUUUUSSSS - you are one of those who I don't need to say much to communicate, its like I am thinking and you receive the msg already! Have you ever got mad in life? because you seem to always bee in such a peaceful state of mind at all times, and thats the part of my missing puzzle you complete - spending my last morning at burning man with you and Nic Bayley meant a lot more then you can possibly think and imagine!! You know what they say "playa provides" and the playa did provided me with the peace (sus) and comedy (bayley) I needed that morning! you don't know but I probably had the worst day of my life the day before, where I thought I wasn't getting out of it - and you took me out of it, so THANK YOU! :)
I can't think of one without thinking about the other but I also can't talk about the 2 of you together because you are so different and play such a different roles in my life!!!
ROBBIEE - I trust everyone in this group very much, but Robbie I trust him with a niddle in his hands lol its like if Robbie tells me to jump on fire because its good for your skin - I'll do it. If Robbie is/gets mad - it kills my buzz, when he goes to bed he also kills my buzz, because then I think its time to go to bed too. I need Robbie around and of course happy, so that I know everything is under control. I love that uber thinks his home is my home, I love crashing his dinners, I love how he says he loves me out of nowhere, anywhere, anytime and also when I don't need to hear (because when I do need to hear he is already giving me a hug) - and if you leave burning man I leave burning man!
JUUUSSSTIIINNN - taking poops aren't the same after we met lol you are like me in this group - i once herd I skydive into it, I think you did too but at least Robbie was driving your parachute ahahahahaha. You are like my free therapist, and if there is someone that will read this whole (post - jenny likes to call it post) that person would be you. I am going to be repetitive now but I have to because its so true - I love that you say you love me when I do need to hear and when I don't, and even when I am taking a poop lol I love that you think I am different and still loves me anyways. I love that sometimes you just seem to LOVE listening to me even when I don't make sense, even when nobody seems to care, you know what I mean? lol
SCOOOCOOOO - I'll lose my voice but I wont stop screaming!! You are one kind human being, I don't know how I earn the "lost" nickname when you've always been "loster" then me! how is that fair? AAAAAHHHHH! SCOOOCOOO - you know they say I'm the sparkly pony - but you are MY sparkly pony bud - couple times you said you lost your mind to me at burning man - Did you find mine? hahahaha you know how I feel now (I guess?) and I know how you feel (I guess?) and that is what I love about you, WAIT - did that make sense? Whatever, what I am trying to say is: keep loosing your self, one day you will find the way out (not saying I did, but hey.. I am writing a blog lol).
MAAAYYLOOOWWWW - I think that of the whole familia you are the one i've been gradually getting to know better throughout the year and the more I get to really KNOW YOU the more I LOVE YOU! Maybe its because we are pisces, maybe its because you are queen V, maybe its because I can feel that you feel how I feel (wait, did that make sense?) - what I am trying to say is that: I believe you fall hard and you feel deeply and that you live intensely like I fall, and feel and live - got it? hahahaha so how can I not love to YOU?!
JIIIMMMYYYY - I really deeply which I had spend more time with you this burning man, I feel like I only met TIMMY back at the tend lol jenny and I LOVE you BOTH! its too bad I can't talk much about our burning man experience this year, also because I only remember you when I was fighting the sleeping pills (you don't know, but I was fighting them so that I could spend more burning time with you)!! I am so happy to have met both of you, actually to give birth to one of you and met Timmy! For the past year, my Thursdays wouldn't be called Thursday if you were not there (even if just for a drink). Jimmy/Timmy whoever you are, whoever decides to read this - I am just happy that you can go missing for months and comeback for a 3 day burn and still manage JIMMY AND TIMMY very well! Im still trying to figure it out how to manage Jenny alone!
TRESSSHHAAAA - how do I begin!! you know how some people talk about souls, matching souls whatever - that is what I felt when I first met you, like no effort to love you, it just happened!! I also remember the first time i saw you, you were wearing those black and white leggings that I have matchy matchy lol - stars align again we are mean to be friends!! What I am going to say might be repetitive but really makes sense - you are a mix of Robbie and Scooocoo to me (weird, but I'll try to explain) - I feel that you have the energy of SCOOTSS but the responsibility of Robbie, so its like you get the best of both worlds (I guess?) make sense? lol
This burn the memory I have of you that stick into my head was when I went back to camp (to do god knows what) and you had just waken up and I came back to Robot Heart with you AND THE SIGN (that never made it back home). We didn't experience as much as I would like to this years burning man, but we didn't even needed to because you did your job sticking into my heart last burning man!!
KEEEYYKKEEYYYY - I don't scream more because you are not here more, of everyone in this family you are my last and newest "bestie" - why did it take so long? how did it happen? I don't know, i don't think Jenny knows either! snap chat brought us closer and I am so thankful for snapchat now! You always were that girl that everyone loves, that is not very much around and that I always wanted to get to know more! Well, mission successfully accomplished :) you are the biggest prove that you don't have to be close to be close. I would love for you to be closer, but you know what they say - everything happens for a reason, maybe if you were close it wouldn't be the same, maybe not being close is the beauty of it. The love I feel for you is like the love I feel about my friends in Brazil (and how I think/hope they feel about me too)! Its like you know its there, far, but close! makes sense?
MANDERSSSS -were we in the same camp? where was I, or where were you? whatever now, I hope you had a good BUURNN lol what I can tell you is that maybe we were burning at different schedules, but you did show up for you shift when you needed - what I mean about this is that you gave me a hug as I was LEGIT GOING MENTAL deciding weather to leave burning man (with Robbie and Justin) or staying for the man burn, and you came jumping like a happy butterfly, I think you said something like: everything is going to be ok, sounds silly when writing but it was a pretty big deal when in my head NOTHING was OK.
DAAAVEEYYYY - I am sorry everyone but I have to give all credits of my first attendance to burning man - that again ties in to the beginning of how/why I even started this "post" to DAVEY. The English dictionary does not have a word to describe you my friend. Our relationship is funny because until the other day I didn't even have your number I think, yet you were one of the first ones I met from the crew. Your creativity inspires me, and the way you burn is how I aim to burn one day! Different then me (that never really know what am doing) - you look like you always know what you are doing, what you are wearing and where you are going, or maybe you don't but you do a pretty good job in at least ALWAYS looking like you know what your doing (other then burning carbon boxes, that you don't know how to). Anyway, whatever you are doing, you are doing it right! That "17 virgins" camp thats right - you can say you are one of the founders.
Guys - I hope I didn't miss anyone, I guess long story short all I am trying to say is THANK YOU!
Oh wait, right... STOOOKIIIIIEEEE!!!
Stokie and Melanie - let me know if you are still interested in reading then we'll (Jenny the head and I) elaborate something for our next post for you guys.
- This all might make sense or not, if it does - GREAT! If it doesn't, whatever they are thoughts from a foam head anyways, you are all crazy for reading.
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